Living Your Best Life at Any Age

Archive for January, 2012

Have You Checked Your Social Settings?

In case you didn’t know it, we in the Seattle area have been snowed in for a week. I was going to write about how Facebook kept me connected. I was keeping up with friends, enjoying videos from friends who were “stranded” in L.A. and had to drive up the coast to Malibu, commenting on the snow pictures and generally satisfying my social needs. I wasn’t really noticing that I wasn’t receiving any comments on my posts until I asked for help with a fish recipe. Nothing. No responses. Everyone else was getting comments. I was getting responses from my comments on other peoples postings. See how self-centered everyone is? Only care about their own postings. Not mine.

No one likes me.

They all ignore me.

A friend called me. She had no internet connection at her home. Another called later and she also was without internet. So that explained why these two close friends had not responded. I growled to one of my friends that I had been given recognition and no one commented.  She said she had not seen the post.

I’m not sure how I discovered the problem after my days of isolation. Seems I had posted something only for family and I had not changed the setting. You can decide on Facebook who you want to see your posts but that setting remains until you change it. I had a setting for family, which in my case, is only about five people—three of whom are rarely on Facebook and never comment. I don’t even know how long I had this setting. No wonder no one responds. I had inadvertently isolated myself!

As I was relating this story I realized the real life lessons.

1. Is it real? Or is there information you don’t know?

There are several personal growth gurus who lecture on this. Are you making decisions based upon inadequate information? I was thinking no one cared about what I had to say because they hadn’t responded. I didn’t know that no one was seeing my posts. Or that some of my friends were without internet.

A friend of mine shared with me that she was hurt that she had not been included in a group. I pointed out that I had posted on Facebook, sent e mails and made an announcement at a meeting about the formation of the group. She did not remember any of these invitations and built a case in her mind how she had intentionally been excluded. Didn’t have all the facts.

2. Have you changed your “settings”?

I am chagrined that I somehow unintentionally changed my settings so no one was receiving my posts. Are there times we change our settings metaphorically? Do we become pre-occupied so that we don’t notice people trying to communicate with us? Do we translate someone’s body language or facial expression as not being interested in us when that person may also be pre-occupied, in pain or even, shy. I have poor vision and often squint. I found that some teachers or lecturers interpreted this as disagreeing with them or, worse yet, too stupid to understand. They didn’t bother to check and I didn’t know about my inadvertent “settings”. Hopefully we can improve our ability to send and receive messages.

Stop making assumptions and ask for clarification and above all:

Check your assumptions

Check your settings.


Jobs I Have Done For Pay

As I converse with people in different fields I often hear myself say “I’ve done that”.  It does seem like I have had a lot of jobs.   Today I decided to list the jobs I have had for pay.  These are pretty much in chronological order although I sometimes revisited previous jobs.

These are not necessarily career jobs but there is a building of one upon the other and something learned from each.  Maybe the thing I learned from the working in a hospital kitchen and being a retail clerk taught me that I better get an education and find better ways of earning a living.

What jobs have you held?  What have you learned from them?

So here they are in order, beginning with my early teens:

Paid jobs I have held

  • Baby sitting
  • Hospital kitchen
  • Retail store clerk (men’s underwear, candy, women’s clothing, men’s wear)
  • Cashier in hotel coffee shop
  • Library assistant
  • Substitute teacher
  • Sears phone center
  • Teacher
  • YWCA program director
  • Job Finding Workshop Presenter
  • Career Search Consultant
  • Marketing executive
  • Investment Adviser
  • Telephone system sales
  • Mortgage Loan Consultant
  • Real Estate Appraiser
  • Accounts Payable Clerk
  • Law Clerk
  • Lawyer

Some of these jobs required a license, permit or certificate.  I seemed to collect these knowing the one I really wanted was the last one and the one I currently hold– Licensed attorney.

Licences and certificates:

  • Food handler permit
  • Washington State Teaching Certificate
  • Certified Account Executive- Financial Services
  • Series 7 stock broker
  • Washington and California Insurance License:  Life Health and Disability
  • California certified real estate appraiser
  • California and Washington State Bar License

As I review these lists, it doesn’t look as disjointed as I first thought.  There is a pattern and each of them help me do a better job at what I do today.

I also see there are some stories here.  What would you like to hear more about?

Now What?

I said I was going to blog.  I actually published some posts and some got reposted.  Good grief I even have some followers.

Now what?

I participated in a thirty day challenge to blog every day.  I lasted four days.

Now what?

I made a commitment that I would continue this blog and develop a series of speeches.  I even gave a speech at Toastmasters on How Not to Look OLD.

Now what.

On this second day of a new year do you find yourself asking that question?  You wiped out the old year on New Year’s Eve, maybe even participating in a burning bowl ceremony of some sort and you wrote your declarations for the new year.  Has your intention lasted beyond this second day of the year or are you already asking:  Now what?

I will ask myself this question every day.  I want to be a source of inspiration for others or at least entertaining.  My plan is to develop inspirational speeches.  I have set some wheels in motion and have a long to do list.  There will be more in the coming  days and months.

You stated your intentions for the coming year.  I have stated mine.  Let’s support each other in reaching our goals as we once again face another year of optimism and another fresh new start.

Now what?

Stay tuned.

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